At Castle Black,
It’s Brienne, Pod, and Sansa!!
Soup and kidney pie
John is tired of fighuhn
Brienne buttts in and doesn’t forget or forgive
As she spills the beans on Stannis
Meanwhile in the Vale
Sweet Robin shoots short
And Littlefinger brings a gyrfalcon Gyrwhat?
Summon the forces of the Vale!
Mereenwhile in Mereen
Mastering masters musters misfits
Tyrion pulls an Abraham Lincoln to avoid a case of the Harpies
Send in the hookers!
Meanwhile in Rohan
Jorah and Daario talk riding the dragon,
Then it’s off with the weapons and out with the Grayscale!
Later that night,
Lesson learned: crushed skulls cover up stab wounds
Khaleesi sits in the subtitles tent with the other widows
Goes to make water and the save is on!
But wait, Dani has a plan
Meanwhile in King’s Landing’s clink
Make it stop Margery Make it stop!
Upstairs rivals conspire
Cue The Rains of Castamere!
Meanwhile in Pyke
Reek gets home
Yara gets pissed
And an election ticket is born
Meanwhile in Winterfell
Ramsey peels an apple
Osha makes a move and gets peeled herself
See ya Osha!
Meanwhile back at Castle Black
It’s time to eat
Then John gets a nastygram from Ramsey
Meanwhile in the Dosh Khaleen
Khaleesi is worth 10,000 subtitles
But wait she’s worth more than that!
And she’s naked!
Burn baby burn, Khaleesi inferno!