Game of Thrones Minute Transcript
Episode 9: Battle of the Bastards

In Mereen. Cannonballlll!
Khaleeesi and Tyrion discuss commerce
How bout we introduce Drogon to the Three Slaving Stooges
Time to Burn baby burn in a Khaleesi inferno!
The Sons of the Harpy have time for little fun
Before the Dothraki drop the Smackey down on em
Grey Worm drops some knowledge and a drops two slavers himself.

Meanwhile outside Winterfell
A battle of wits ensue
In the morning then, bastard.
Later in the tent
the good guys talk strategy
Then it's time for some sour goat milk and a nap
Davos walks around and finds his burnt whittling.

Mereenwhile back in Mereen
The Greyjoys made it!
No more reaving roving raiding or raping?
Deal!

Meanwhile back outside Winterfell
Rickon makes a run for it.
Zig zag dude! DOH!
See ya Rickon!

Let's get ready to rumble!
Arrows fly
Cavalry charges
John's gonna take all on himself

Antietem's got nothing on this one
The bodies stack high
and Ramsey puts on the squeeze play
John is about to drown in carnage
But swims to the top just as the halftime horn blows
No wait, that's the knights of the Vale coming in for the save!

Inside Winterfell, Wun Wun brings the goal line offense in for a touchdown!
See ya Wun Wun!
Then John goes Ralphie on Scott Farkus in a Christmas Story all over Ramsey. Woohoo!
The Stark banners hang over Winterfell once again!
And Sansa feeds Ramsey to his hounds.
See ya Ramsey! You bastard!