Olympic Minute Transcript

The 23rd Winter Olympic Games
In PongChing South Carolina
Have come and gone
We all went from confused onlookers
To cagey Snowboard half pipe judges
In the course of two weeks.

The Olympic motto is, "Citius, Altius, Fortius,"
That's Latin for "28 hours of curling? You betcha!"

NBC claims that they had an audience of 20 million people each night
And they made $120 million more on ad revenue
Than they made last time.
I'd pay a billion dollars to never again hear that commercial
With the rapper Common babbling on about information at your fingertips
And what your gonna do with it.

307 Medals were given out to 30 countries
Norway destroyed the field with 39 medals
Liechtenstein had the most medals per capita
There are 37,000 people in Liechtenstein and they won one medal.
Do the math.

Team USA had some great moments and took home some gold medals
But we had our worst medal haul in 20 years
242 US Olympians brought home 23 medals

But we won our first cross country medal since 1976
We won our first ever curling gold medal
The US women won a spectacular hockey tournament
Chloe Kim soared to the hangry heavens
Jesse Diggins dug hard for a thrilling last second cross country skiing relay gold
And as soon as you got used to it
The flags came down,
The flame is out,
And the Olympics are over!

See you in Tokyo in 2020!