2018 Football Minute Transcript
Week 5!

Week 5 in the NFL
Week 6 in college
Week 1 in your hearts.

Your numero dos Boodawgs
Trimmed the hedges with Los Commodoros.
Lots of wood choppin coming up.
They head to blue bayou next week
And lookout for the Cocktail Party after that
Because those damn Gators are crawling up the rankings.

Your Midtown Helluvan Engineers
Stormed into Louivull
And trampled the Cardinals with an insatiable 542 yards rushing!
And twelve, YES TWELVE yards passing.
Who needs to pass with you're flexing the bone?

Let's just pretend your College Park Dirty Birds
Never went up to Ptttsburgh.
Come back next Sunday
And start fresh against the Buccos.
We always beat them, right?

Your Atlanta United FC
Thwarted the Beantown Revolution
And still ride high atop the Eastern Conference
By one point.
The MLS playoffs are nigh!

Your Auburn Avenue Panthers
Are gonna have to pick it up
If they expect to put any crunch
On that Southern Fried Conference

Mark Arum's New York Football Giants
Won the game because there was no way that dude was gonna make a 63-yard field goal.
Oh wait, he made it.
Giants lost. DOH!

America's Team, The Cleveland Browns
Went into overtime
For the third time this year.
And they knuckleballed a game winning field goal as overtime expired.

And tonight
The second coming of Adrian Peterson
Takes on the 18th coming of Drew Brees
On the MNF.