Year 4 for The Football Minute!
Week 2 for College,
NFL Kickoff Week.
Stream your defenses against the Dolphins now!

Your Turner Field Panthers
Are going first this year
Because they topped off Rocky Top in week 1
And they burned Furman in week 2
They're 2 and 0. Look out, downtown!

Your Midtown Wramblin Wreck
Played Musical Quarterbacks
To take the Bulls by the horns

Your Athens County Boodawgs
Had a scrimmage against a community college this week
And they will dine on cupcake again next week

Your third place Atlanta United
Set piece back from international break Saturday
The playoff push is on!

Your Magic City Dirty Birds
Got sent halfway to Valhalla
By the Minnesota Scandinavians
Let's hope it won't be a long year for them. Sheesh!

Turn out the lights in Miami
And call Sea World
Because The Dolphins are tanking

THE Ohio State Buckeyes won a battle of I-71
Roll Tide won a battle of I-20? Kinda.

The Jets choked on a fourth quarter lead
The Redskins choked on a fourth quarter lead
The Bengals choked on a fourth quarter lead
The Lions choked on a fourth quarter lead

Mark Arum's New York Football Giants
And America's Team Cleveland Browns
Both had great opening drives
And then spread their faces across the asphalt
But let's not jump to conclusions

And tonight's Rocky Horror Late Night Double Feature Picture Show
Brees versus DeShaun first
Then Chucky versus Flacco on the MNFs