Week 5 in the NFL
Bye bye bye week in college
Pumpkin spice week in America

Your Atlanta United FC
Finished the regular season
With a win over New England
And next Saturday
They will play New England again
In single elimination MLS playoff action

Your Downtown Panthers
Racked up 713 yards against
Arkansas State
Go down and see one of their games already!

Your Matty Ice
Has thrown for 300 yards
Every week this year
But the Magic City Dirty Birds
Are 1-4
What's the problem?
Well Deshaun Watson
Throwing for 426 yards and 5TDs
Doesn't help

Your North Oconee Boodawgs
Climbed old Rocky Top
And found a moonshine still
The Boodawgs still haven't found number 1
And I reckon they never will

Your Midtown Wramblin Wreck
Need some new scientific calculators
Because their post-option story problems
Just aren't adding up

Mason Rudolf took a shot
And paraded around
In a helmet without a facemask
Change his name
To Mason Yukon Cornelius

Mark Arum's New York Football Giants
Came back down to Earth
And are currently holding open tryouts
For a running back
To feed to into the New England meat grinder
After a short week.
DOH

And tonight
America's Team Cleveland Browns
Dig for gold in SF
On the MNF