Week 1 in the NFL
Week Something Or Other for some colleges
And Who Knows What Week It Is in America

Your Midtown Wramblin Wreck
With a new coach
On the road
With a true freshman quarterback
After a weather delay
And getting three field goals blocked,
Win their first road opener
Since 1996
And they did it against Florida State!
Welcome backet, Jackets!

Your Magic City Dirty Birds
Headed out into the smoke
And ate a big plate of fire
Despite 450 passing yards from Matty Ice.
Road game next week in Jerrah World

Clemson excorcised the Demons
From the Deacons
But didn't cover the 34 point spread.
850 yards of total offense in that game.

The Tar Heels squeezed the Oranges
The Packers outdueled the Vikings,
915 total yards of total offense in that one.

The Washington Football Team
Who?
The Washington Football Team
Might surprise some teams this year.
They're 1-0

And hopefully the Dallas Cowboys won't,
They're 0-1

The TOMpa Bay Bucks looked a little rusty
Big Easy Brees looked a little musty,
But either way
Those guys are old
And they don't care!

For the 21st time in 22 years
Someone forgot to tell
The Cleveland Browns
That week one games actually count

And a double header tonight
Mark Arum's New York Football Giants
Are still undefeated
Ben Roethlisberger
Is too dumb to retire

And on the late show
Broncos/Titans will be on until about 1:30am!